Thursday, August 28, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
1) We both understand this game is a joke. We don't really get to sleep with anybody and have it be okay. Neither of us are Andre Kirilenko. While we are both okay joking about it, I'm pretty sure even if Brad Pitt seduced my wife it would be a deal breaker for me (as I say it, though, I just think to myself 'Man if you're in that spot, Katie, just go for it. I'll get over it in time....')
2) The people on the list have to be people that we don't know. If I put Katie's best friend on my list, I somehow think the joke would be over. And after all, the point of this exercise is to laugh. (I also think you can learn a lot about a person by the type of person they are interested in).
So, without further adieu and in no particular order, here is my list:
1) Jennifer Harman
Who, you ask, is Jennifer Harman? She is arguably the best female poker player on the planet. Some guys go for a big rack, other guys are ass men. I’ll take a girl that shares my interests any day of the week. Just look at her sitting there with all those chips in front of her. Just thinking about her check raising me in a pot makes me want to reconsider how much of a joke this list is.
Back to the category of attractive women with serious talent, Alison qualifies. She can rock the fiddle as well as belt out a tune. Plus, I may be wrong, but I get the impression that this girl could just as easily cook me a nice dinner at home on a Saturday night. Don’t judge me. It’s my list. If I want a girl to cook for me in my fantasies, let me be. Which brings me to #3:
Yum-O. I’m not quite sure where to start. Okay, yes I am. This chick is HOT! She’s talented, she’s rich, and if I’m hungry she can feed me in a half an hour. Mmmm…. Food……
Okay, so I met my wife at work. I have experience with the office hottie. Pam, er I mean Jenna, qualifies. She’s funny and can relate to me at the end of the day. Awesome. Which brings us to number 5:
Ms. Connelly qualifies for a number of reasons. She’s an Academy Award winning actress. From what I’ve read about her, she seems to be pretty thinky. I likes me some thinky women. You all can take your Pamela Anderson’s and other Playboy centerfolds. I’ll take me a girl I can have a conversation with. Some of the things we could talk about? What it was like being handpicked by famed director Sergio Leone at the age of 13 to be in his gangster epic ‘Once Upon A Time In America’ starring Robert Deniro, James Woods, and Joe Pesci. Or maybe we can talk about her portrayal of an addict slipping into oblivion in the indie film ‘Requiem For A Dream’. The same movie I shamelessly stole the title from for my first 20 or so posts….
Continuing the trend of intelligent women (or at least women who can ACT intelligent), number 6 is Ellen Page. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. This quote of hers sums it up for me “Anyone who gets me is really lucky because I'm not really crazy about jewelry or flowers." A low maintenance hottie. Enough said.
I know very little about Halle. I know she’s a great actress that has won an Academy Award and I know she’s hot. That’s enough for her to make my list, though.
Meadow Soprano. When hot girls and gangster flicks come together, Jamie Lynn is the result. God bless America and our obsession with the counter culture.
Let me think. Jessica Alba seduces me. Can I think of any scenario where I can say no?…. …. ….. Nope, I guess not. For that reason, she makes the list.
So that’s my list. It’s always changing as I get new hobbies and find new hot chicks that share those hobbies. I was thinking the last couple of days about adding Belinda Carlise, but I couldn't decide who had to go. So, sorry Belinda. Maybe you'll make the next list. Does anybody else out there have a list? Anybody who thinks Katie should kick me to the curb? Feel free to comment.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Going back the last 60 years or so, it seems that each new generation is a little more open minded than the last. The beatnik generation (50's), the hippies (60's), the bra burners (70's), the gen x'ers (late 70's - mid 80's), then the P.C. era (90's). As the years went by, thinking slowly progressed away from the patriarchal led family unit to the era of equality for all. According to a friend of mine the progressive trend of each generation being more accepting than the last is finally over. The buck stops with me. Last night a friend called me a chauvinist. This friend is twice my age. Coming from someone of a different generation it made me laugh. I think he had misunderstood my tone from the conversation we were having and not realized I was joking; but the idea of me being a chauvinist is hilarious to me. My mother is a borderline femnazi. In the house I grew up in, the men did most of the cooking and cleaning. I am as effeminate as straight men come. If my friend Cameron is 49% gay, then I am 49.5%...
At issue was an article I read on CNN regarding a new trend among young couples with no children to have one member of the couple stay home during the day without a job. In the article, all of the examples given were of women staying home while their husbands worked. I was telling my friends about this article and how it struck me as misleading. With no children, I couldn't understand what there was to do at home all day. The article listed things like doing laundry one day, deep cleaning the house another day, shopping another, etc. I was thinking to myself 'How much laundry do 2 people use' and 'how dirty is a house with 2 people and no kids anyways?'. I thought it was misleading, because it seemed to me that laziness was being disguised behind.....feminism? The pros for this situation were listed as that there was less stress on the person working and on their relationship because they didn't have to worry about errands and making dinner after a long day at work. Those in favor of this setup said that it wasn't sexist because the feminists of the 60's and 70's weren't fighting for the woman's right to work, but for the right of the woman to choose if she wanted to work or not. It's a valid argument. I'm curious if those bra burning feminists would be inclined to agree, but all of that is beside the point. I was telling my friends last night that because I saw it as laziness, if my wife were the one staying home I would expect her to clean and cook dinner for me. This was where my friend interjected by calling me a chauvinist. I stand by my point, though. For a relationship to be equal, both partners have to bring things to the table. If a person (man or woman) isn't working or raising kids, they've got to be doing something to be equal in the relationship. If they aren't handling responsibilities financially or maternally, does what they bring to the table equal what the hard working member of the relationship brings? The last time I was in a relationship where I didn't have to work or take care of kids was when I was living with my parents. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that. And at those times, I am being LAZY.
Because my friend thinks I'm a chauvinist, I figure I might as well act the part. Here are a few things the new chavinist me thinks:
*Beating Women: A while ago a friend of mine was asking if I ever just wanted to beat a woman. The new chauvinist me says Hell Yes! Woman today are just too full of opinions. 'I think I'm equal' 'Women are people, too'.... Whatever. Women today just don't have fear in them. I think a good beating would put that fear back in them. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing; you've already told her twice. What do 50,000 battered women in the
*Beating Children: The new chauvinist me says why should children be excluded from the beatings? When I have kids I'm going to keep a knee length tube sock around. At different times, I'll fill it with billiard cue balls and nails. When my kid steps out of line, WHAM! upside the head. The cue balls will do more immediate damage, but the nails will cause infection. Either way, my kid will learn that the only happy child is a silent child.
*Women Voting: Chauvinist LT says that women will be too busy cooking steak for me and cleaning my house to be wasting time with things like voting. If God wanted women to have opinions, he would have made them men.
If you can think of anything I may be missing, please feel free to comment.
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