The List

My wife Katie and I have a running joke going. From what I understand, the joke we have ongoing is a fairly common thing. The joke is an agreement of sorts. A list. Our joke is this: If you could have a get out of jail free card to sleep with 10 people, who would be on your list? For this little game, we have some unspoken ground rules.

1) We both understand this game is a joke. We don't really get to sleep with anybody and have it be okay. Neither of us are Andre Kirilenko. While we are both okay joking about it, I'm pretty sure even if Brad Pitt seduced my wife it would be a deal breaker for me (as I say it, though, I just think to myself 'Man if you're in that spot, Katie, just go for it. I'll get over it in time....')

2) The people on the list have to be people that we don't know. If I put Katie's best friend on my list, I somehow think the joke would be over. And after all, the point of this exercise is to laugh. (I also think you can learn a lot about a person by the type of person they are interested in).

So, without further adieu and in no particular order, here is my list:



1) Jennifer Harman







Who, you ask, is Jennifer Harman? She is arguably the best female poker player on the planet. Some guys go for a big rack, other guys are ass men. I’ll take a girl that shares my interests any day of the week. Just look at her sitting there with all those chips in front of her. Just thinking about her check raising me in a pot makes me want to reconsider how much of a joke this list is.

2) Alison Krauss

Back to the category of attractive women with serious talent, Alison qualifies. She can rock the fiddle as well as belt out a tune. Plus, I may be wrong, but I get the impression that this girl could just as easily cook me a nice dinner at home on a Saturday night. Don’t judge me. It’s my list. If I want a girl to cook for me in my fantasies, let me be. Which brings me to #3:

3) Rachel Ray

Yum-O. I’m not quite sure where to start. Okay, yes I am. This chick is HOT! She’s talented, she’s rich, and if I’m hungry she can feed me in a half an hour. Mmmm…. Food……

4) Jenna Fischer (Pam from the Office)

Okay, so I met my wife at work. I have experience with the office hottie. Pam, er I mean Jenna, qualifies. She’s funny and can relate to me at the end of the day. Awesome. Which brings us to number 5:

5) Jennifer Connelly

Ms. Connelly qualifies for a number of reasons. She’s an Academy Award winning actress. From what I’ve read about her, she seems to be pretty thinky. I likes me some thinky women. You all can take your Pamela Anderson’s and other Playboy centerfolds. I’ll take me a girl I can have a conversation with. Some of the things we could talk about? What it was like being handpicked by famed director Sergio Leone at the age of 13 to be in his gangster epic ‘Once Upon A Time In America’ starring Robert Deniro, James Woods, and Joe Pesci. Or maybe we can talk about her portrayal of an addict slipping into oblivion in the indie film ‘Requiem For A Dream’. The same movie I shamelessly stole the title from for my first 20 or so posts….

6) Ellen Page

Continuing the trend of intelligent women (or at least women who can ACT intelligent), number 6 is Ellen Page. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. This quote of hers sums it up for me “Anyone who gets me is really lucky because I'm not really crazy about jewelry or flowers

." A low maintenance hottie. Enough said.

7) Halle Berry

I know very little about Halle. I know she’s a great actress that has won an Academy Award and I know she’s hot. That’s enough for her to make my list, though.

8) Norah Jones

Norah, Norah, Norah. From her angelic voice to her fantastic ability to finger the ivories, it’s easy to overlook the fact that she is gorgeous. Surely Katie couldn’t fault me for this pick. I’m not so sure that Norah wouldn’t be on Katie’s list…

9) Jamie Lynn Sigler

Meadow Soprano. When hot girls and gangster flicks come together, Jamie Lynn is the result. God bless America and our obsession with the counter culture.

10) Jessica Alba

Let me think. Jessica Alba seduces me. Can I think of any scenario where I can say no?…. …. ….. Nope, I guess not. For that reason, she makes the list.

So that’s my list. It’s always changing as I get new hobbies and find new hot chicks that share those hobbies. I was thinking the last couple of days about adding Belinda Carlise, but I couldn't decide who had to go. So, sorry Belinda. Maybe you'll make the next list. Does anybody else out there have a list? Anybody who thinks Katie should kick me to the curb? Feel free to comment.