The Tides are Turning

There have been 2 situations in my life in the last 2 weeks that lead me to believe that my attitude and countenance have improved. Both of them left me scratching my head. I'll let you be the judge:

1) 2 weeks ago I went to a 6:30 meeting for the first time. I think the main reason I did it was that I knew I was going to have to go to a meeting a day and I wanted to have some nights available to relax. It turned out to have an added bonus: I came to work after that first morning meeting. I had arranged to be into work about 15 minutes late so I could catch the meeting. I got to work at 8:15. In my mind, I came in and kept to myself like I usually do. At about 10 o'clock a co-worker came up to me and asked 'Are you okay?' I was confused. I tried to think of why she was asking me. I drew a blank, so I answered honestly. 'Yeah, I'm fine. Why?' She says to me 'You just seem like you're in such a good mood. It's weird.'

2) So last night I go to pick Katie up at the airport. I'd had 4 days off in a row. I went to meetings, hung out with guys in recovery, cleaned the house, and took naps. Anyways, I'm at the airport and Katie comes down the hall to the waiting area. I see her and I stand up to meet her. It's at this point that I notice that besides her brother, it turns out she was flying back with the friend I referred to towards the end of my posting before this last one. She walks up to me, hugs me, and before I even have a chance to open my mouth she says to me 'You've been drinking! You're drunk!' If my coworker caught me off guard, this situation knocked me on my ass. I had nothing to say. Eventually I regained my balance and told her 'I probably deserve a lifetime of being accused of being drunk. This time is one where I'm actually NOT drunk' Eventually she realized I wasn't drunk, but I was curious about why she thought I was drunk. Her answer? 'You just seemed so relaxed and happy.'


The part that jumps out at me from both of these is that I hadn't even said anything. I must have exuded anger and unhappiness before I started making some changes about 3 weeks ago. Especially with the 2nd situation, where I was caught off guard and didn't have any time to adjust my behavior it shows that a significant change has taken place in me. It is a welcome one to say the least. I hope one day I'll be able to look back on the days when I was so angry and wonder how I did it.