GDMF'n MLM'ers

You know who I hate? Multilevel Marketers (MLM'ers). Want to know who I hate more? MLM'ers who won't admit that's what they are. They will tell you all the reasons why their 'plan' isn't MLM. If there is anyone who shouldn't get uppity, it's someone begging for my money. If you are curious about whether or not you are being scammed by a MLM'er, here are some of the signs:

• If someone you know in passing suddenly wants to 'meet with you', watch out.
  
• If you hear the words 'plan', 'downline', 'monthly commitment' or 'small investment' - run fast!
• If someone says they are 'working for a new company and you'd be a perfect fit!', write that friendship off.
  

Living in Utah, which seems to be the epicenter of fraud and MLM'ing, I've been accosted many times by 'friends' who get involved in these things. Put the word out: anybody that approaches me and tries to get me involved into one of these can save their breath. If they still think they can 'help' me 'understand', that friendship is done. Good friends do not take advantage of each other. Good friends eat steak together (or vegetables if they are so inclined). They raise kids together. They take vacations together. Nowhere on that list do the letters M, L, and M appear together.

Whenever some 'friend' of mine tries to hit me up with one of these deals, I instantly put a red mark on their name on the file in my mind. Everything that person does from then on is shadowed. If they think the Cowboys are going to win the Super Bowl, I think to myself 'this coming from the guy who thinks selling his friendships is a good idea'. It's like I mentally handicap them. When I talk to these people again, I mentally pat them on the forehead like I would a 7 year old. I don't care if you sell soap, vitamins, financial services, legal services, or anything else: I don't want to sign up, make a commitment, join your downline, or even so much as see the plan, discuss my future, or take a look at your company. I know that you have your handbook with comebacks for my top 10 objections. You can try to convince me how much you are just trying to help me, but at the end of the day your dignity will be gone and I'll still have my money.